How did I go from being one of the most popular woman in the New York "music scene" to being much less popular in only 20 months?
CHANGE, GROWTH and a hell of a lot of COURAGE .
It's quite simple, I have been a professional singer & people pleaser all of my life until I realized one day that I simply no longer cared about being "too cool for the room" and having the approval of my peers. I no longer had the desire or reflex to list my resume or hear everyone else's. I still wanted to "sing", but I was desperate to enjoy a life where my song was sung for joy and not only for other people's approval for a FEE. I wanted to sing for ME again, the way I first began loving music. So, how on earth was I going to do this ? I always knew I was more than a singer for hire. I knew I had so much more to offer and I was ready for the task, but had no idea what I was looking for, until the new purpose found me in May 2014.
I am not gonna lie, shifting gears was pretty scary, I had to cry it out many times but with the support of my husband and some very special friends who were on my same journey , I keep moving forward . Most of my life long friends and family didn't really understand my "WHY" and there were a lot of strangeness surrounding me and pink elephants in the room. I even found out that there were ugly rumors flying around that I was involved in a cult or pyramid scheme because I was so happy, healthier and I just could not keep it a secret. It didn't matter how happy I was or how much joy my new life was giving me and how many people I was helping, they were used to Deena the struggling artist/ singer who complained a lot, had health issues and was unfulfilled and never FABULOUS enough. Many are still having a tough time with me becoming something more that that girl . This is a common story that I hear over and over as I meet people who have shifted focus and careers later in life. Many of your friends & family just refuse to take you seriously and tend to be the least supportive. If you can really get with this, you will have an easier time moving forward.
BLESS and RELEASE.
Sometimes I felt very lonely and angry at the lack of support I received. I mean, if your own friends and family won't support you and get behind you , who will??? I suffered great sadness & disappointment as I made my way down the road of the unknown, dodging ridicule and haters.. I thank GOD that he gave me the courage to continue going for it . As I continued down my path I began to meet more and more new people took me very seriously and saw me in a fresh NEW light.
I knew this new path was divinely sent because I kept seeing the numbers 818 everywhere and had no idea why?? The reason this number was significant to me is because it is my birthdate, but why did I keep seeing it on the clock everytime I would look at my phone in my car, on the tv box, address's ?? it was EVERYWHERE! This was my message from GOD that I was on the right path.
Today, when a stranger asks me what I "DO", I no longer answer "Professional Singer ". That answer has always provoked a reaction of AWE and intrigue. My answer is "Wellness coach". What is a wellness coach??? "I help people who are in physical, emotional and financial pain". My love for singing and career may or may not come up . The new "title" may not initially sound as exciting & glamorous, but as I fit more securely into my new normal I am finding that people sense my emmence joy and actually want to know more about "ME" and what I "DO". This conversation usually leads to them sharing their own dreams, visions and goals. This is when we can begin our work together if they so choose to take their own leap of faith.
"I am passionate about helping those who want to make positive changes in their lives, for their physical health, emotional & spiritual well being. I am a different kind of people pleaser now, I help people please themselves" .
Oh and yes !......
I am still a professional singer , it is one of the things that I enjoy doing, but that is not "WHO" I am anymore .